The Busy Mom Takes a Break

Verse: Matthew 11:28-30 Song: These are the Days by Cory Asbury

Written by Jessi Drost

Last week a sweet friend of mine checked in, texting to make sure I was okay… I’m so grateful for friends who check in when we go quiet. Yes, I’m okay, just taking a break. One week led to two, which led to two months. Our life needed to slow down, something I’ve never been good at. But I did something scary for a busy Mom like me, I closed our doors, and we stayed home.

I used to fear days at home; the days always seemed far more chaotic. I’d go to bed at night feeling like a failure, like I hadn’t accomplished enough. Therefore in my productivity = worthiness mind, I wasn’t good enough. The attempt of trying to juggle 3 blessing 4 and under while also trying to tackle my unnecessarily long to-do list with perfectionistic standards would leave my head spinning and my heart hurting. I couldn’t do it all, and rather than try to work on my unhealthy need for perfection and productivity, I kept running. If we spent less time at home, there was less time to feel like a failure.

So, we kept busy. Busy I was good at.

If it’s Not From God, is it Really Good?

We’d book our schedule so that every day of the week we had something. A play date, a bible study, an extracurricular activity; all good things, all fun things, but for me all distracting things. Then the convictions started to come…

“How can you disciple your children and train them up if you’re never home to pour in to them?”

“How do you care for your health and your families health well when you’re constantly on the go?” (Busyness/over doing it causes very painful autoimmune flare ups for me)

“Are you caring for your home to the best of your abilities if you’re never there?”

“Are you setting yourself up well for educating your child if you homeschool only when it’s convenient?”

“What tone are you setting for your home when your focus is constant productivity?”

“What foundation is your home truly built on?”

Most importantly, was this constant question in my mind… “What are you running from? You can’t heal if you don’t slow down!”

Anxiety. I was running from anxiety. If I stayed busy, if my brain and body never stopped going at 100 miles per hour, the crippling overwhelm that led to deep breathing on our bathroom floor wouldn’t come. So I ran, and ran, and ran. And or culture tells us it’s a good! Keep striving! Keep perfecting! Push through the pain and keep working hard!

I ran until burnout hit so hard that my health was (and still is) suffering. But to me, that was less scary than the anxiety. So I pushed through the pain, until I had no choice but to stop running.

A New Way to Live

When the Lord blessed us with a home in our time of desperation, I desired to use it only for Him and His glory. That first few weeks after we moved in, I prayed walking throughout our home every morning and every night. I prayed for many things, but most of all I prayed that He would show us how to steward this home well for His good! And after every prayer, the response was the same… “Build up your marriage, build up your kids, build up your walk with me. Stop running, and use this home as a refuge to build up your family!”

I knew what that meant… all those convictions came rushing back. I needed to be here with my family if we were going to use this home to build up our home and family culture to live for the Lord. I had to stop running from my demons. I had to work on my need for productivity and perfection. I needed to delight in my children and in my home. The Lord had given us a place of refuge, and it was time to use it to heal. And although it’s not my story to tell, Wyatt had healing of his own to do too.

We knew we had to make changes, so we started small with implementing a few boundaries that had been pressing on our hearts.

It takes planning. It takes preparation. It takes sacrifice. But in it we are finding the healing our souls need!

After three months of these boundaries, we all rejoice when it’s a day to stay home! We bake, we build, we laugh, we rest, we sing and dance in the kitchen, we experiment in the sink, we simply have fun!! For me it’s become a way to take a step back into childhood. To resist the culture of productivity and busyness and simply enjoy the blessings that the Lord has given us!! Does the anxiety come? Yes. But in it I have learned the value of truly taking thoughts captive and surrendering them to the Lord. It’s become less scary, and I too am starting to love our days at home. We’re together as a family, learning the value of rest and slowing down. We’re building the foundation to our home, creating a safe place for our family to grow in grace and character together.

Our home is a blessing, and this season with little children is a blessing. Don’t let anything blind you from that.

Oh Lord how we thank you for these days at home, and your conviction that keeps us growing!

And if anyone else is feeling a similar nudge from the Holy Spirit to slow down and live more intentionally, some books that have been helpful to us are The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer, Habits of the Household by Justin Whitmel Early, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Shazzero, and The Life-giving Home by Sally Clarkson.

**Side note: these were OUR convictions and OUR families boundaries that I am sharing, they maybe aren’t yours and that’s okay! That’s up to the Lord, not up to me or you 😘