Words Matter; Choose them Wisely

Written by Jessi Drost

Verse: Psalm 19:14 Song: Nothing More Than You by Cory Asbury

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me!”…

Who invented this saying? It’s crap, not true, not helpful, sooo not biblical. Please stop teaching it to our youth.

I still remember the day it was said to me, I remember staring at the birch tree in my parents back yard. A little girl, broken hearted from the things the big kids said to me on the bus. As I watched the branches sway, I concluded that there must be something wrong with me if people’s words hurt so much!

Now here I am, 20 something years later, sitting on my couch as I watch the branches sway on the trees outside our window, wondering if there is something wrong with me because people’s words hurt SO MUCH!

Bible open, praying for strength through this season, the Lord led me to do a deep dive into what His word tells us about the power of words…

"Telling lies about others is as harmful as hitting them with an ax, wounding them with a sword, or shooting them with a sharp arrow." Proverbs 25:18

I mean, not to be captain obvious here, but based on this one verse alone, words clearly cause harm! But let’s keep going…

"They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim their bitter words like arrows."  
Psalm 64:3

"The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences."
Proverbs 18:21

"The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."
Proverbs 12:18

Now I get it, the whole idea is that we would be so grounded in God’s truth, that the words of those who don’t truly know our hearts wouldn’t impact us. That’s because when we commit to following Jesus, we live for an audience of one (Galatians 1:10). What others say about us shouldn’t matter, we are only to look at what God says about us. But let me be the first to tell you, this is so much easier said than done.

YOUR. WORDS. CAN. HURT.

Words can wound, they can wound so deeply! Especially when spoken by those who should be lifting you up. Family, friends, fellow brothers and sisters in Christ; the words spoken by those closest to us hit differently, they hold more power. They see you in your struggle, they might even see a glimpse into your sin, and when they use it against you, its like a sharp arrow to the heart…

Christians, we are to love like Jesus loved. We are to build one another up, sharpen each other, encourage one another. We are to help carry the burdens of our brothers and sisters in Christ, not kick them when they’re down.

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God."
1 John 4:7

"Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them."
Ephesians 4:29

"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."
Proverbs 27:17

"Carry each others burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."
Galatians 6:2

Imagine a world where we truly lived this out! What kind of light for Christ would we shine to the world?

While this season has been so painful, hurtful, and hard, I’m grateful.

Grateful to learn the power words hold. Grateful that we as a family have an opportunity to do things differently. To use our words for good! To raise the standard of who we let speak into our lives. To repent when we do screw up, and ask for forgiveness, aiming for reconciliation. To encourage, to build up, and to glorify God with how we use our tongues.

"So encourage each other and build each other up..."
1 Thessalonians 5:11

"Kind words are like honey, sweet to the soul and healthy for the body."
Proverbs 16:24

"Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt."
Colossians 4:6

"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry."
James 1:!9

Our new family screening guideline for knowing when to open our mouths to speak into someones life is as follows:

If the answer to any of these questions is no, then we keep our mouths shut, and keep praying for the Lord to check our own hearts on the matter. Far too often our words and actions are for our own selfish motives and gains. This is not from the Lord.

We are all humans. We all struggle. We all make mistakes.

Not one of us is perfect, and we should all aim to choose kindness when met with the imperfections of others. But if you are a follower of Christ, you have an even greater responsibility. Your life is not your own, and your actions are to reflect Christ himself. This should not be taken lightly.

We should all be thinking twice before opening our mouths in judgement to others. You never know how the words you say could impact another person. You don’t know the demons they are facing.

Please take that seriously before opening your mouth.

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. (Amen)"
Psalm 19:14