Wrestling with God
Hebrews 13:5
Hebrews 13:5
God tells us he will bless us, provide for us, and never abandon us. He tells us to not worry, to have no fear, to turn to him in all circumstances.But do we really believe it?
With every tear dried, every sleepless night, every dirty diaper changed, every dish washed, and every crumb swept, he is sanctifying me. He is reminding me that I can’t do it alone, I’m not strong enough. I’m not meant to be. It’s not my strength that prevails, it’s His. Where I am weak, He is strong.
The other day I was lost in thought and wrestling with how you actually live a life of Joy. How do we not base our happiness on worldly things? How can anyone possibly not let their circumstances dictate their attitude?
It’s black and bitter. Trying to survive in a place with no light. Hardened and abandoned. Dead to any onlookers, but not to Jesus. It was my heart.
And then it happened, I learned a wilted woman is not a woman living for God. When did I stop standing up for what is true and right and good? When did I accept I am not worthy or valuable? When did I let the lies win? When did I forget my life has purpose, and that when I choose to live wilted, I’m not the best for those around me?
For me it’s become a way to take a step back into childhood. To resist the culture of productivity and busyness and simply enjoy the blessings that the Lord has given us!! Does the anxiety come? Yes. But in it I have learned the value of truly taking thoughts captive and surrendering them to the Lord. It’s become less scary, and I too am starting to love our days at home. We’re together as a family, learning the value of rest and slowing down. We’re building the foundation to our home, creating a safe place for our family to grow in grace and character together.
I’m a doer, a driver, an achiever. I wouldn’t say I’m exactly type A (details bog me down), but I was raised to work hard and constantly be on the lookout for ways to be useful, productive, and to grow. Not a bad quality in the workplace…
Becoming a man is a process, not an event. Becoming a man is forged in the fires of our lives and how we come out on the other side. It’s built on good morals and ethical behavior, selfless service, and biblical character. It’s built on God. Anything less will lead to immature boys in a man’s body.
The story behind my tattoo, and the dream that began my journey to true freedom.